feeling silly

last night was splendid for it was our second time outing together with his bb. Although it was just a small and short outing but I felt happy and satisfied... for at least I can be with him and see him. I maybe silly in thinking this way but isn't this is also the way it should be. I was hoping that we can be more than fren but if i can see him happy i am satisfied. when he post how happy he and his daughter last night, i felt so happy. however this morning he deleted the post. I was like had a sudden heartache feeling. i know that I may not be the person who would stay by his side at the end but at least now I able to stand by his side when he needs my help. however after the enjoyment of yesterday night, today he totally no message me at all. if i say that i am ok it would be a lie but i dun wan to disturb him with his work... i dunno should i msg him or not cse i wanted smy o much to msg him... i dunno that tonight movie can still on or not? i was waiting for tonight but i know and guess perhaps that tonight it will be canceled. eventually i was so scared it might be cancel. tonight it turn out it didn't cancel but my plan was ruined. today was the first time ever i didn't receive any message from him. my heart felt really uncomfortable and i dunno how to face him later..i feel very unsecure now... perhaps i should not step in but i also should not give up so fast... but i really dun have any confidence d... i am a loser in love,,, my feeling grew deeper... like tonight when we watch movie, i am feeling happy although i just sit by his side... but i pretend nothing happen because i scare... now also i scare... i am jealous when i saw him texting other girl.... y do i wan to care so much when he doesn't even care...