the feeling inside me

it's near 2 months we had known each other. I was actually confuse on what i want. Had never been in this mess in love before. I love in being straight forward. But for me, I cannot be straight forward towards as there are many things seems to block us from step in deeper. I have feeling for him but I also need to think deeply can i really be a stepmother? Can we both really accept this relationship. when i hold his daughter, i could feel the love of a mother she needs in her. My concern is can I gave her the love she need? now, we both are more to fren only. perhaps by this way only i can touch him, play with him and his daughter without have any awkard feeling. Eventually, perhaps i think i had change. this is not me. I will never concern too much if i love someone. LAst night, i acc him work. Actually deep inside i feel really happy and had a feeling of blessed. Dunno y. I will never let people to drive my car and put my heart at ease if someone try to drive my car. This feeling goes to Sheng. When he drove our kia last time, I always scare he will spoilt it. I will always worry. However, I never thought i could let Patrick to drive my car and I never worry anything about it. Perhaps this is the real love I have in my heart and a boy. Love could not be measure by time. I dunno since when he placed a place inside my heart. i dunno since when he exist in my heart. he is not a perfect guy nor a guy i dream of but i just love him. and i wanted so much to help him. touching his moustache, his face, his hand, i could make myself smile. nowadays when i miss him, when i think back, i could lift a smile on my face. i now just want to help him and hope that he can build himself with confidence then it will be ok. In future eventhough we may end up fren, i will be happy to c him happy again. Now only i know what is love. I din put any hope that he love me but i just hope that he can find his love. no matter i will still wait... i hold my job in singapore. i still wan to wait. while wait i will love up myself and live to the greatest... gambate for both of us... i may not declare my love to him now but i hope next time when i will have the brave to kiss him. I had wanted to kiss him for so long but i dun have the brave. Hope i can have a chance to kiss him again. Just once i will also feel satisfied.