The struggle

Hi Mommy,

How was your life.. Sorry ya mum... its been so long since my last chat with you which i cant even remember when. It feels so strange tonight mum.. I can feel you beside all night and somehow make me calms... it's been true saying that only mother can protect us and gave the best warm... even though u had left us but all this while deep inside my heart i miss you deeply.

mummy,

i had so many things wanna say to you and i wish u were beside me right now. i may looks like strong and brave and also can handle many things but mummy honestly saying i felt so tired and i nearly die due to suffocating in tiredness. I am so tired in this cruel and mad world. if it is not because i had a daughter now that need me by her side i think there will a time where i had ended my life.

mummy,
i dont know how to express my feel and i could not find any word to express my feeling.. i just know that i been feeling pain and hurt deep inside.. i forget who am i and who am i suppose to be anymore. i dont know how to deal with all the feelings inside i somehow feel like wanna explode d. i wish u were here now to advise me on how i should handle things. i had been leaidng unhappy life in which i cant even find my happiness and i dont even know what does a happy married and couple should be..